Domestic Physical Abuse
Domestic Physical Abuse
Typically, domestic violence casts a dark shadow over a relationship following a period of threats and verbal assaults. It represents an extreme attempt to dominate and control one’s partner, and the distress it inflicts is universally painful.
Victims can be anyone, regardless of age, sexual orientation, ethnicity, socio-economic background, or gender. However, it’s important to note that the majority of perpetrators are men, and the vast majority of victims are women. On average, two women are tragically killed in the UK each week by their partner or ex-partner, a number that rose to three in 2018.
- Slapping
- Hitting
- Punching
- Pushing
- Shoving
- Biting
- Kicking
- Burning
- Choking
- Holding the victim down
- Throwing things at the victim.
- Bruises
- Black eyes
- Red or purple marks at the neck
- Sprained or broken wrists
- Chronic fatigue
- Shortness of breath
- Muscle tension
- Involuntary shaking
- Changes in eating and sleeping patterns
- Sexual dysfunction
- Menstrual cycle or fertility problems
The spiral downward to violence is often preceded by the perpetrator having a bad or unpredictable temper; punching or kicking walls; destroying their partner’s belongings; threatening to harm pets; threatening to commit suicide if their partner leaves; threatening to take the children away or harm them; or threatening to hurt or kill their partner.
Warning Signs
As violent abusers often direct their blows where the bruises and marks will not show up, warning signs someone may be a victim of physical violence include:
- having frequent injuries, with the excuse of them occurring as accidents;
- frequently missing work, study courses or social occasions, without any explanation;
- dressing in clothing designed to hide bruises or scars, such as wearing long sleeves in summer; and
- donning sunglasses indoors or on cloudy days.
Criminal Offences
Sexual Abuse
Repeated Behaviour
Some victims regard the domestic violence they are suffering from as minor because it is not as severe as they have heard or read about. But a push against a wall is violence all the same: very serious injuries can result from that form of physical attack. Even if someone has assaulted their partner ‘only’ once or twice, there is a greater risk they will do so again and things then escalate into much more regular, and possibly more severe, physical abuse.
Abusive behaviour is nearly always a choice, a way for the perpetrator to gain control over their partner, and it follows a common pattern.
After the assault, the abuser says they feel guilty. But that is not always genuine remorse, more the fear of being caught and facing the consequences of their actions. Then the perpetrator rationalises what they have done, possibly coming up with a long line of excuses or blaming the victim for provoking them. They do not want to take responsibility for their violence.
A spell of normal behaviour follows with the abuser acting as if nothing has happened. They may turn on the charm to lull their partner into thinking that they have really changed. But it is usually a ploy to regain control and ensure their partner will stay in the relationship.
All too often the perpetrator then begins to fantasise about repeating the abuse, spending a lot of time thinking about what their partner has done wrong and how they will make them pay for it. Frequently they will the set the partner up to create an excuse to abuse again.
More profuse apologies and loving gestures follow, making it difficult for the victim to leave what has becoming a physically abusive relationship. And so the cycle keeps repeating itself.